God is GOD!

I just want to say, it doesn't matter what we think or we plan, Gods ways are so much infinitely better! God is truly in control. Can't we accept this and submit?
I am so glad that I do not run my life but that my perfect heavenly Father does. He is simply amazing! God, please enable me to trust in you and never forget your lovingkindness.

My Prayer Tonight

I want my life on earth and my future in heaven to merge.
Within my soul a quiet confidence,
I want to live a life worth living, by living a life of giving,
Within my body steadfastness.
To quell my fear, by putting all my confidence in my Saviour,
Within my mind, true hope.
I want to learn meekness, and become shameless,
to Love my Lord.

Make War!

I hear so many Christians murmuring about their imperfections and their failures and thieir addictions and shortcomings and I see so little war. "Murur, murmur, murmur, why am I this way? MAKE WAR!...If you wonder how to make war go to the manual. Dont just bellyache about your failures. Make war! ~ quote from John Piper

Peace

Went running tonight. Not too far, but enough to feel warm and good and tired. A liitle while later, as I sat near my open window listening to podcasts, I heard a funny noise. I looked out and it was pouring! So I ran out the front door.. It was cold and wonderful. Maybe I don't hate rain after all :)

I am so glad God gives ways enjoy his creation, and physically relieve stress. Music, rain, running, dancing, animals ... so many ways, and different for everyone. Although stained with sin, God's creation is still wonderful!

"I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart;

I will tell of thy wonders.

I will be glad and exult in Thee;

I will sing praise to thy name O Most High" ~Psalm 9:1,2

He Tore the Veil!!

Knowing something is not always really knowing it. Sometimes a truth I thought I knew strikes me again in a new way, "an aha moment", and then I think "oh I see now." Well, the more of them I have, the more I see there is to learn and understand.

Tonight I was musing on the actual pain of separation and distance between loved ones. It seems like I am always saying goodbye. So many of my loved ones are in so many different places in the world that I can't be with them all. And it makes me sad. Then I thought how at least we'd all be together in eternity and how that's what counts after all.

Wait a minute, we get to be together because of what Someone did for us. He endured the greatest separation of all. How truly painful!!!! The Father looking away from the Son. Perfect Love being severed. What a broken heart! Christ and God the Father demonstrate the greatest love, the greatest sacrifice that could ever be made. To be with the Father is supreme Joy and to be under his wrath, the worst humiliation. Christ's gift is so infinitely greater than we understand.

Jesus took all of our separation upon himself. And then he gives something new and wonderful in its place. he gives us ultimate community. Not only do we get to part of the Body of Christ, we get join in the very community of the Trinity. Jesus before he went on the cross prayed this very thing for us, that we might in Him and He in us even as the Father and the Son are one. His Spirit indwells our heart and brings us to Him and He will never let us go.

Our brokeness is being restored, our separation temporary. Knowing this gives me an excitement and a overflowing sense of being loved. This enables me to go on loving those around me, and those who are with me only in spirit. I am empty, he fills me up. He makes me whole!!

When God Ran

I''ve got another song! This is an old one by Benny Hester called "When God Ran". It is amazing that God actually does run to meet us! We are not coming to him so much as he is coming to us- to pick us up and carry us home. An awesome God :)



And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba!Father!" Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. ~Galatians 4:6,7

And he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him, and felt compassion for him and ran and embraced him, and kissed him. ~Luke 15:20
~New American Standard Bible

A Secret to Shout

Why? Why does what I do matter? Does it? Why should I care? I ask this question again and again. And again the still, quiet voice whispers. And I know there is meaning in life. But how does it apply to me?

Because of the someday, the now is part of the someday. Motivation comes not from within me, but from Him within me. Which makes me part of eternity and the great plan. Now, I need to do and live. Press on. There is meaning in someday, in the other world-the spiritual realm... so logically there is meaning here too. There is a reason to not give up. There is a reason to keep working. It's part of the PLAN. The big picture. But because there is a big picture, there are details! Like a beautiful painting, its each small part that makes the whole what it is. Each small part adds to the meaning. And vice versa! All the little parts (you and me) add up to make that big picture so awesome.

How much does it mean to us that our lives are snatched from the grave? That our souls are saved from a righteous eternnal damnation? Should we not live and breath gratitude? What can anything else mean in the face of this awesome knowledge? One's whole being is utterly transformed. Of course we are different people. We ought to have died and someone else died in our place. And He gives us His righteousness so we CAN live! And He holds us close to his heart. US! Yeah! Shout it out! So we dance, we smile, we cry. We Live. Because He Lives!!

We are joined to meaning Himself. We will someday no longer seek our purpose. We will BE it. We will be free in the ultimate sense. FREE to just be. And just be, perfectly.

Oh, and hey, it starts now!! :D

Ask and it shall be given unto you; seek and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened. ~Matt. 7:7,8

All of Me

God made the world. It's all His, when He made it, He declared that it was very good. And he made it beautiful and enjoyable. He gave Adam the job to work in it and take care of it. Adam's whole life glorified and enjoyed God even when he was working or playing (I bet he did things for pleasure). Since then sin has corrupted our desires. We seek our own purposes. But Jesus's redemption covers our whole lives, therefore every part of our lives can reflect Him.

God isn't just interested in our Sunday worship service or our set apart quiet times. Those are very important, but He claims our whole lives. This means that anything we do we must do to the glory of God. Our work, our leisure, our family time are all part of our lives and therefore we do them to His glory. We can make art to the glory of God. Or pick up trash cans, or work in an office, or take care of the home. We can glorify God by acknowledging His grace in every area of our lives. Even the parts of us that we might think don't count.

Sometimes its the little things that he calls us to. In my family, one of the kids might have complained, "But I want a more important job", refering to his mundane task of picking up leaves in the yard or sweeping the floor. "Why can't I mow or paint?" Of course, as we all got older, we realized that work =work, whatever chore it is and that the more "fun" chores were usually harder. But I also learned that the little tasks are just as important as the big things. And vice versa of course :) But somebody has to get their hands dirty, so next time you are doing some thing not so fun, remember that this thing too is for the Kingdom of Heaven.

Relationships with those around us are a special part of this. In our daily living, we interact with others. And if we are working hard with a good attitude and praising God, somebody might take notice. And then we would have a reason "to share the hope that is within us"!

This is what the Christian life is all about: LIVING in Christ. He touches every area of our lives. In all we do, we give thanks to God. After all, our lives were bought by His death. Since we are not our own, we belong to Him and every area of our lives already belongs to him.

We owe it all to Him!

Perfect Everlasting Love

1 Peter has really gripped me lately, so I decided to share :)

1 Peter 1:17-25

17 And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile,

18 knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold,

19 but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot.

20 He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for the sake of you

21 who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.
22 Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart,

23 since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God;

24 for “All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass.The grass withers,and the flower falls,

25 but the word of the Lord remains forever.”

And THIS word is the good news that was preached to you! ~ESV Study Bible

Isn't that just exciting? Just think: God who is outside of time, eternal and unchangeable, created us, and knows us. He has rescued us with the most precious of all things: the blood of the imperishable Christ who died for us. Because of this perfect love given to us, now we can truly love each other. Because we are born of the WORD everlasting!! He has given us the most perfect gift of all (Himself) and it will last forever!

A Distant Shore

Sometimes I am beset with this sense of restlessness and desire to be somewhere else, anywhere else than I am now. Going there (wherever “there” is) does not fix it. I become discontent and unable to settle down to my work without thinking that I'd rather be playing tennis,... or talking to somebody,....or alone, often I don't even know what it is I am longing for. I am looking for something on a distant shore; I can't stop squinting my eyes at the horizon longing for a glimpse of that ship. What am I wistful for?

The Lord wants us to be content in Him. He wants to be our everything. And since He made us, he gave us a built in desire for Him. His presence is so much greater, so much more rich and fulfilling than anything we try to replace it with. So that is why nothing else will satisfy.

But as a Christian, why do I still experience this restlessness? Well, I am still a sinner with earthly desires until glorification. This causes a twofold effect. One, as a sinner I still fall into making idols of other things, trying to find satisfaction elsewhere. This cannot do anything but but make my impatience grow as these things fail. Second, I am not yet in His presence the way I will be in Heaven. So part of that longing will always remain while I am yet apart from my Father.

There are places I can go where I find quiet from this impatient spirit. Reading Scripture, praying, and often drawing or painting are some of the ways I spend time with my Maker allowing him to restore my soul. God made us specially with souls that want to drink of the deep. We are eternal beings. Sometimes we want this longing. In the words of C.S Lewis:

If a transtemporal, transfinite good is our real destiny, then any other
good on which our desire fixes must be in some degree fallacious, must
bear at best only a symbolic relation to what will truly satisfy. ... We
cannot tell it [the secret] because it is a desire for something that has
never actually appeared in our experience. ... For they [memories, idols]
are not the thing itself ; they are only the scent of a flower we have
not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we
have never yet visited.

I am content with where I am in my life. And I pray that the Lord would give me ability to appreciate each moment he gives me even now. If I focus my desires on growing closer to Him, then not only will my contentment grow, but also my longing to be with Him. And that would be a good thing :)

A Living Book

Hi! :) I want to share a few Bible verses today. This Book is so amazing: it is the living Word of God that speaks to us every moment. Lately, I have noticed this afresh. Whenever I open it, I think, "Wow, this is as perfect for today as it was 2,000 years ago!" The Bible is the love story of salvation (all of it points to Christ), the Law, our guide to how to live, a dependable source of wisdom and of strength. It is the book that contains the most wisdom, tells the sweetest love story, the truest history, and the most amazing truth, is the most encouraging (to believers), the most necessary exhortation, and the best theology! It far surpasses any other book because it is the WORD of God. When we study it, we are in His presence in a special way.

Ezekiel 3:2

So I opened my mouth and he fed me this scroll, And he said to me, "Son of man, feed your stomach, and fill your body with this scroll I am giving you." Then I ate it, and it was as sweet as honey in my mouth. Then He said to me, "Son of man, go to the house of Israel and speak my words to them."

Matt. 6:47

Everyone who comes to me and hears My words, and acts upon them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation upon the rock; and when a flood rose, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built.

Psalm119:129

Thy testimonies are wonderful; Therefore my soul observes them. The unfolding of thy words it gives light; It gives understanding to the simple. I opened my mouth and panted, for I longed for Thy commandments.

2 Thessalonians 2:13

But we should always give thanks to God for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God has chosen you from the beginning for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and faith in truth. And it was for this He called you through our gospel, that you may gain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. So then brethren, stand firm and hold to the tradition you were taught whether by word of mouth or by letter from us. Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our father, who has loved and given us eternal comfort and good hope by grace, comfort and strengthen your hearts in every good work.

True Joy: With Pain?

There is so much more to life than we realize. How often are we just going through the motions? There is so much that we are not taking advantage of. And so much more that we can BE. This is not works to please God or obligations to fulfill in order to assure our worth or status in anyone's sight. But it is a more full realization of all that we can be in Christ. We can be living examples of his grace. We can show and share Christ's love. We can be immersed in his joy and peace that turn the bitter pills of life into true gladness. I believe that it is the ultimate joy to be not just happy because nothing is wrong, but be glad because something WAS wrong but now is whole. Pain is still here, but so is our Savior.

It is my experience that people who must go through hardship in their lives are often more joyful than those for whom everything seems to go well. They have learned, by the grace of God, to trust him more fully because they have nowhere else to go. Being in complete reliance on God enables us to have joy because we are no longer trying to be good enough or find joy within ourselves. Those who need God more, who see their sin, their pain, their hurt, have a joy that goes deeper. They are connected with the bigger picture

of eternity and salvation.

Life is so big and so special, but this time (before heaven) is short. It means so much because it is a part of eternity. Eternity doesn't begin when we get to heaven, it begins now! How can we live like we understand this?

photo by Anna Lofgren

One of my favorite songs. I am remembering I can depend on God completely and even though i may not understand what is going on in my life, He's always there. He's already saved me, I can trust to take care of me.

I Want to be Perfect

I want to be perfect. I do. This last week of school has been somewhat stressful, as I try to find that balance of how much I can handle and how to manage my time. So I have also been wondering why I want to do everything that I do (and already don't). I have this idea in my head of the sort of person that I want to be and somehow have to fill that role. I want to make lots of art, that all works, making several pieces that get shown, even giving advice to others along the way. I want to be a good tennis player (who can actually hit the ball!), winning all of my matches, and encouraging my teammates. I want to impress my professors, getting nearly perfect grades on all of my tests. I want to be the girl that knows everybody, who attends all of the events, and knows what's up around campus. I want to participate in as many bible studies and groups that I can, even becoming a leader. I want to help to end abortion, as an activist leader and by volunteering for the crisis pregnancy center. I want to be able to run far, be healthy, and play other sports. I want to be a friend and family member that is encouraging, understanding, and funny. I want to know the latest news, and be active in the cyber world. I want to learn to dance...

Anything wrong with this picture? It's not my goals, it's me. “I want, I want” What does God want in my life? It is not all about what I want. Am I willing to surrender my goals and desires to him? Am I willing to let God to take over my life? What if I fail? Am I a loser if I can't meet up to my standards?What am I holding most dear? If I am trying to stand on my own two feet, rely on myself, and be perfect, I will fail. I CAN'T be perfect. And it's a depressing thought. I can't do it at all. I have been relying on the goodness of God's grace to get me through each day, but it is dawning on me that that includes surrendering the idea that I can be someone of merit-that I can somehow earn brownie points. My righteousness is like dirty rags! I am not anything- but in God's eyes I am a treasure. Just that way, not because of anything I can do, but because I am God's child and he chose me. So when I speak a sharp word, lag behind in my sketchbook, or miss that meeting it is ok. Not because it was any less of a sin, but because God's grace is so huge. I need to give up what I can do for what He can do through my weakness.

So I still want all of these things, because they are good, godly desires. But I am willing to give even those up to Him. What do I really want most of all? I want to want what He wants. :)

my artwork

Longing to Belong

I don't know about you, but I think everybody wants to fit in. We have a desire to fit in, be at home somewhere. We want someone we can count on, we want to feel safe. A home to which to return when all the world seems upside down. A friend we can turn to when we are alone. A rock in the quicksand.
The sense of wanting to belong somewhere is universal to mankind. Women want someone that they can belong to, to be cared for and cherished. Men desire approval, vindication, and respect. We all want to be accepted.
I have been pondering this quite a bit lately as I move back into college life after being home for a month. Where do I belong? I love being with my family, but I can't live there forever. I love my friends and work at school, but it will be over in a couple of years. Which friends should I spend time with more? Where should I go to church? Will I ever have my own family? What should I do with my life? Where do I belong?
You see, each of us is restless at heart until we find our rest in Christ. Even then we still search for our place in this world. We do have a place in this world. But its is defined by our place in another world. Christ accepts us for who we are, us, not our sin. He chose us, his own, he predestined us from the beginning, died for us, and loves us. I am secure in the knowledge that whatever new curve life throws at me next, I am safe in God's plan, because I Belong to Him. We serve our King!
“Peace I leave with you, not as the world gives, give I unto you, Let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid.”~Jesus, John 14:27