God often uses hard times to grow us. We do not learn to trust in him quite so much when we think we've got it all together. I have realized that when I am hard pressed, I do come through and am the better for it. Jesus becomes so much more precious when we realize that he is our all. At the beginning of this semester the art program was getting ready to have its student show. I was determined that I should get in. But, hard as i worked, I continually found myself returning to the drawing board. There were only a few days until the deadline. One evening, I was told by the art professor that it was ok if I didn't make it, he doubted I would, but I had learned a lot. Emotionaly worn out, I felt like giving up. Then my roommate(dear Anna)turned on her music: it was Selah's "You Raise Me Up". I bent my head and cried. In this moment of being broken I realized that it did not matter if I made the show. But it did matter that I trust the Lord. Several long days (and nights) later, I had the pleasure of being told my drawing would hang on the gallery wall. Sure, I was glad that I was in, but it was not so important to me anymore. I had learned that Jesus was helping me, with his help I could become an artist. But he had to come first. Now I find myself in yet another hard place, with finals closing in, art project deadlines looming, a long weekend of conference tennis ahead, and important decisions to make. My mother is sick with a chronic disease, I miss my family, and dear friends will be moving on(from school). At times I want to scream. I can't do it. That is true. But with God's help I will pull through. He is teaching me every time I fail on the court or with my drawing pencil. He is molding me into the young woman that he wants me to be. So I should rejoice in this time of struggle. Like my drawing depicts, a rose takes time to open, to develop, and mature. Praise the Lord.

Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God. 2 Cor. 3:5