I am beginning to be excited for the summer! In less than two weeks I will be home. My mind is frequently occupied with plans for the summer. I want to do so many things. I will be working on different art ideas and projects and drawing in my sketchbook. I will get to spend time with my family and help out around the house- can you imagine actually missing chores? well, i still prefer washing the car to the dishes, but i will be glad to do normal home things. I may get a part time job, i will get my drivers license, and play lots of tennis and run. The list is long and probably won't be completed but the feeling of potential is always exciting. Thinking of plans reminds me of the future; every child is used to the question: what do you want to be when you grow up? No one really knows what the future holds, but I do have dreams for my future. I know that I want to graduate from Belhaven with my fine art degree and hopefully connections and art shows that will sustain my ability to make successful art-hopfully illustrating childrens books as well as some painting and drawing. But this really isn't my most important goal. I want to get married, have a family, and create a home for them. This is an enjoyable thought to daydream about, but I know that it is not easy. My dream is that my home would be a place people would come to, somewhere my parents or siblings or friends could stay if they wished. I have always admired my mother's gift of hospitality and desired to make that a ministry of my own as well. I have another dream: I want to be a tennis coach for a high school team. I also want to be a part of children's ministry. I enjoy being in charge and I love kids so running a vacation bible school or teaching sunday school appeals to me as way to serve in the church. And last, but probably most importantly, I want to help end abortion in our generation. I feel that the Lord has laid each of these things on my heart, but I do not how or when they will happen. Or if I can do all of them. But God does. If i walk in his ways then He will show what I am to be doing. Proverbs 19:21 says: Many are the plans in a man's heart but the counsel of the Lord, it will stand.

We must be ready to surrender all of our plans and hopes and dreams to the Lord. After all we are His and His plans are infinitely so much greater than ours even when we do not understand why things often do not work out the way we wish. But I still dream and aspiring to service in the kingdom is a good thing. And we do not have to wait till we are older, we can accomplish things now.

Please pray for me in this upcoming week as I face finals and late nights drawing on my final projects. May the Lord give us His peace.

Running

I went running this afternoon and was a little surprised at how thoroughly I enjoyed it. I ran over 2 miles and loved it. It was a good time to start thinking. I realized that one can enjoy running even when it starts to hurt. I used to think that I didn't really like running- it was uncomfortable and even made me feel sick. So? I begin to see that running means running through the pain. And it does get better, but then we can just go farther till it hurts. It is a struggle, but one we were meant for. This is what apostle Paul meant when he compared the Christian life to running. It is not easy, no, it is hard. But the Lord created us to live for him, to run this race. Not everyone is able to run physically, but we are all running towards the heavenly prize. Lift your eyes to the horizon, can you see your goal? It is there, Jesus waiting with his arms open. Heaven is our ultimate prize, but there are others along the way. When we think we have learned one lesson, conquered a fear, or have helped someone, another obstacle crosses our path. It is called sanctification. It will never end until we are made perfect on the other side. But running is pleasant; the joy can override the pain. The Holy Spirit is our wind. The end is closer than you know. Keep going! I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. -Philipians 3:14

God often uses hard times to grow us. We do not learn to trust in him quite so much when we think we've got it all together. I have realized that when I am hard pressed, I do come through and am the better for it. Jesus becomes so much more precious when we realize that he is our all. At the beginning of this semester the art program was getting ready to have its student show. I was determined that I should get in. But, hard as i worked, I continually found myself returning to the drawing board. There were only a few days until the deadline. One evening, I was told by the art professor that it was ok if I didn't make it, he doubted I would, but I had learned a lot. Emotionaly worn out, I felt like giving up. Then my roommate(dear Anna)turned on her music: it was Selah's "You Raise Me Up". I bent my head and cried. In this moment of being broken I realized that it did not matter if I made the show. But it did matter that I trust the Lord. Several long days (and nights) later, I had the pleasure of being told my drawing would hang on the gallery wall. Sure, I was glad that I was in, but it was not so important to me anymore. I had learned that Jesus was helping me, with his help I could become an artist. But he had to come first. Now I find myself in yet another hard place, with finals closing in, art project deadlines looming, a long weekend of conference tennis ahead, and important decisions to make. My mother is sick with a chronic disease, I miss my family, and dear friends will be moving on(from school). At times I want to scream. I can't do it. That is true. But with God's help I will pull through. He is teaching me every time I fail on the court or with my drawing pencil. He is molding me into the young woman that he wants me to be. So I should rejoice in this time of struggle. Like my drawing depicts, a rose takes time to open, to develop, and mature. Praise the Lord.

Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God. 2 Cor. 3:5