From the Inside Out

It was a long day, but a good day. :) It started at 6:30 in the gym and continued with drawing class at 8. After an interesting morning in the art building (including learning about printmaking, how cool is that?),  the whole school headed to chapel. We were reminded of the simple powerful story of Jesus's life and work on the cross by a dramatic speaker. We also found out that Belhaven RUF is bringing Tim Keller to town! Looking forward to that! Next was tennis practice and I learned 3 things before heading back to the art building for an afternoon in sculpture class. 1) I can still hit (always afraid i'll forget) 2) My game needs a ton of work 3) I will always love tennis. and my team :) When I left the art building after spending a long time in my studio literally swimming in charcoal, I jumped in the car with friends to go to a little frozen yogurt shop that was having a sale. That was fun :D Then I donned my fedora and raincoat and set out again, this time to attend a friends junior voice recital. It was beautiful and all her hardwork definitely pays off. By the time we got back, it was time for the highlight of my week: RUF!!! yeah. It was that heaven meets earth kind of fellowship, worship, and teaching. We sang a song that had I had listened to on my internet radio a couple of times earlier during the week. It talks about that living in grace where when we fail or the world seems dark, there is one light that still pierces through. And I want that Person to change my heart and change my attitude to want to love Him. To want to love others. To want to live in grace and humility. The Lord must be in complete control of our lives. When I reflect on my day, it positives and all its failures I remember that each day is a part of God's work on me. Its the personal side of a big God who is in control of everything. And by His miracle He is changing our sinful hearts into hearts that seek him and understand that its not about us.

My heart and my soul, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

I Wanna Be With You

One day at a time. That's what I keep reminding myself everytime I add something else to my planner. It seems as though every hour of my semester is already zoned out-even double booked at times. Can I really do all of these things? How do I not feel panicky everytime I think about the calendar? Well, it won't be easy. But I shall rest-rest in the knowledge that the Lord is in control and that all I HAVE to DO is ABIDE in Him. If that is the only requirement, then its not my job to worry. It is not a superficial denial, but an acceptance of my weakness and His strength. The Lord is walking with us through the story that He is writing.

I was laughing pretty hard with few good friends tonight. One friend was teaching us how to say some things in her language. It was a special moment, in fact, the whole evening was sweet to me because of the people that I was with, even as we stressed (or tried not to stress;) ) over our schedules. It is at moments like those, that I sense that it is the relationships and lived out life that matters more than accomplishments. As we press forward and work hard, praying that the Lord use us, He will. He will use our lives in ways we never could have imagined, yet it is none of our own doing. He is teaching me that since I am His, I can serve, I can work, I can even fail. He wants us to rely on Him fully, to lean on Him, because He wants to be in a relationship with us.

What would it take to be the person I see?
What can I do to glorify Thee?

My power is sufficiency.
Your weakness glorifies me greatly.

“My power is perfected in weakness,

My grace is sufficient for you.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

God is GOD!

I just want to say, it doesn't matter what we think or we plan, Gods ways are so much infinitely better! God is truly in control. Can't we accept this and submit?
I am so glad that I do not run my life but that my perfect heavenly Father does. He is simply amazing! God, please enable me to trust in you and never forget your lovingkindness.

My Prayer Tonight

I want my life on earth and my future in heaven to merge.
Within my soul a quiet confidence,
I want to live a life worth living, by living a life of giving,
Within my body steadfastness.
To quell my fear, by putting all my confidence in my Saviour,
Within my mind, true hope.
I want to learn meekness, and become shameless,
to Love my Lord.

Make War!

I hear so many Christians murmuring about their imperfections and their failures and thieir addictions and shortcomings and I see so little war. "Murur, murmur, murmur, why am I this way? MAKE WAR!...If you wonder how to make war go to the manual. Dont just bellyache about your failures. Make war! ~ quote from John Piper

Peace

Went running tonight. Not too far, but enough to feel warm and good and tired. A liitle while later, as I sat near my open window listening to podcasts, I heard a funny noise. I looked out and it was pouring! So I ran out the front door.. It was cold and wonderful. Maybe I don't hate rain after all :)

I am so glad God gives ways enjoy his creation, and physically relieve stress. Music, rain, running, dancing, animals ... so many ways, and different for everyone. Although stained with sin, God's creation is still wonderful!

"I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart;

I will tell of thy wonders.

I will be glad and exult in Thee;

I will sing praise to thy name O Most High" ~Psalm 9:1,2

He Tore the Veil!!

Knowing something is not always really knowing it. Sometimes a truth I thought I knew strikes me again in a new way, "an aha moment", and then I think "oh I see now." Well, the more of them I have, the more I see there is to learn and understand.

Tonight I was musing on the actual pain of separation and distance between loved ones. It seems like I am always saying goodbye. So many of my loved ones are in so many different places in the world that I can't be with them all. And it makes me sad. Then I thought how at least we'd all be together in eternity and how that's what counts after all.

Wait a minute, we get to be together because of what Someone did for us. He endured the greatest separation of all. How truly painful!!!! The Father looking away from the Son. Perfect Love being severed. What a broken heart! Christ and God the Father demonstrate the greatest love, the greatest sacrifice that could ever be made. To be with the Father is supreme Joy and to be under his wrath, the worst humiliation. Christ's gift is so infinitely greater than we understand.

Jesus took all of our separation upon himself. And then he gives something new and wonderful in its place. he gives us ultimate community. Not only do we get to part of the Body of Christ, we get join in the very community of the Trinity. Jesus before he went on the cross prayed this very thing for us, that we might in Him and He in us even as the Father and the Son are one. His Spirit indwells our heart and brings us to Him and He will never let us go.

Our brokeness is being restored, our separation temporary. Knowing this gives me an excitement and a overflowing sense of being loved. This enables me to go on loving those around me, and those who are with me only in spirit. I am empty, he fills me up. He makes me whole!!